POST #33—THE TOURIST HIERARCHY

Oh, you're only here for two hours?

                  We're here for the whole day.

Oh, you're only here for a day?

                  We're here for the week.

Oh, you're only here for three days?

                  We're here for ten days.

Oh, you're only here for two weeks?

                  We're here for a month.

Oh, you're only here for six months?

                  We're here for the year.

Didja see the spice plantations?

And how did you get there?

Did you go to the volcano?

Was the volcano active?

You rode horseback to the volcano? We hiked up.

You took a truck to the volcano?

We took a helicopter ride over the rim.

Have you been to the hot springs?

We hiked to the hot springs.

Have you seen the cave?

Did you go with a guide?

We went by ourselves.

We camped overnight inside the cave.

How many (endangered birds/animals/orchids) did you see?

Did you see their secret nesting grounds/mating area?

How many (charismatic megafauna) did you see?

Did you take pictures?

We brought our microscopic lightweight broadcast quality video camera.

We got a postcard of them mating but they're out of season now. All they do at this time of year is eat and sleep.

Did you see the natives/indians?

                  Did you go to their village?

                  Did you go by canoe/dogsled or land rover?

                  It took us (two hours/three days/two weeks) to get to the native village.

                  We saw the real native village, not the tourist one.