POST #5—SICK

It must have been the grasshoppers. I probably got some kind of protein overdose.

Is this rash from the lotion?

Is this rash from the heat?

Is this rash from the humidity?

Is this rash from the dryness?

Is this rash from the water?

Is this a rash or the beginnings of Blubber's disease?

Didn't the health guide say that a rash was a symptom of Bubba's disease?

Stop scratching.

Do you think this rash is an allergic reaction to that soap/lotion/blue stuff?

Are there poisonous plants around here?

Does your towel smell funny, too?

So, what were the symptoms of cholera/yellow fever/ebola virus/zingzing flu?

Uh, I think it was high fever, chills, bad headache, and violent diarrhea.

Yeah, and what else?

No, wait, maybe that was Bubba's disease.

How much did you pay for your malaria pills?

My insurance wouldn't cover them, either.

Have you seen any mosquitoes?

Me neither.

Maybe it's the wrong season.

I'm not feeling so good. Maybe we shouldn't have drunk water from that magic fountain.

Why don't you just try to sleep.

Sick.

I feel sick.

Help.

Help me please.

Please help me.

I'm not feeling so good.

How do I ask for a doggie bag?

How do you say "doggie bag" in (language).

My God, how far away from the hotel are we?

Where can you vomit around here?

Is there a bathroom nearby?

Why don't you duck behind that bush with the purple and orange flowers?

Ah, funny human.

Do you want to buy pretty shirt?

Is that man a policeman/security guard/militia/soldier/priest?

Can you tell me where there is a bathroom, please?

I'm sorry, I'm trying to be supportive. But I really want to see the museum and today is the free day.

Find the hotel.

I'm sorry, I'm trying to be supportive. But I really want to see the festival and today is the solstice.

Find the hotel.

That's OK, you can go see the rock paintings without me. I know you don't care if I die here all alone.

Find the hotel.

Notify the embassy now.

Notify the consulate now.

Send a copy to my lawyer.

Send a copy to my doctor.

Send a copy to my accountant.